SO DEPRESSED -HELP

[carolynm]

Okay, I'm having major coping problems today. I have two beautiful young children, ages 2 and 1, and am unable to enjoy them due to my a) pain b) worry about my future with PN, c) I don't even know what else. Having PN has been all-consuming, depressing, anger-provoking, dark. How have each of you gotten through this journey and remained somewhat sane and functional? I'm getting ready to start 3 12-hr shifts at the hospital tomorrow and am worried about how I will function in either so much pain or so drugged up.

HELP

cari

[HerMajesty]

I give credit to God and God alone but we are not supposed to have religious discussions off the spirituality section of the board as not everybody is OK with religious chat. If you are a believer it's better to post under the spirituality heading to get support. There are some nice threads already there you can read too.
If you are not a believer all I can say is, everything is easy when you do not have a choice, you get up and do what you have to do every day. My pelvic problems were stable and not a quality of life issue until my 2nd child, my only daughter, was born. The pregnancy and birth was too much and took me out of remission. If I am ever feeling down I can always look at my little girl ("mini-me"), and realize if I could choose to do it all over again the same, or just not have been pregnant again, I would choose this suffering. No contest, without a moment's hesitation. It is such an honor to be a mother, you just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and go through what you must.

[Violet M]

Hi Cari,

12 hour shifts sound a bit daunting -- do you have to sit or lift at work? Do you have family members who can help with the kids part of the time?

One thing that helped me was just focusing on getting through one day at a time and not trying to think of how I was going to get through anything more than that. Knowing that you have a plan for diagnosis and treatment helps a lot too -- the wait is difficult though.

I went through a pretty dark tunnel for awhile but I can tell you there is light at the end and chances are you will be able to get back to a pretty normal life with the right treatments. Stay strong for your kids -- there is a good chance you will be able to beat this and get your life back.

Violet

[donstore]

Hi Cari,
Like Violet said, try to focus on getting thru the day and try not to let yourself get drawn to the dark side of worry that is always waiting for you with this condition. This is especially true at the beginning. I am an x-ray tech and although Lyrica and hydrocodone (and the pain) do alter my consciousness, I make an extra effort to be aware of that all the time and to spend a little extra time focusing on every step of whatever task is before me. You can do the same. Personally, I found Lyrica to be less disorienting than neurontin, but everyone if different. This might be something to try if things get too spacey. One thing I have found about working at the hospital is that people are capable of amazing things even when they are faced with life altering challenges. You just do what you have to do. Having dark thoughts about it all is a normal reaction. You just have to keep walking towards the light.

Best Wishes,

Don

[helenlegs 11]

My Son and family came to stay for a few days, and I loved every minute but with 3 grandchildren of 5, 3 and just 1 boy it was hard, still recovering so to work such shifts on top of your family commitments must be very difficult.
Medically things are improving and of course having people here who understand helps too. Think all the advice above is very sound, I hope I don't sound flippant when I say that having so much to occupy you must take your thoughts away from the PN a lot of the time but try to remember to pace things the best you are able, under the circumstances. Hope you do get a lot of help and that things begin to improve for you.

[calluna]

How do we get through, when things are difficult - one little step at a time, one thing at a time. Don't look at tomorrow, don't look back at yesterday. Focus on now, on what is good about now. Push the pain to the back of your mind and take your thoughts away from it. I mentally put it in a box and shut the lid, I still know it is there but I am not letting it out and giving it attention.

I expect you've already found the Emotional Aspects section of the main website, but it bears re-reading. Lots of helpful stuff there.

But, my goodness, 12 hour shifts sound very daunting. Any way to alter that? Pain is disabling, your employer ought to be sympathetic to that.

[mom]

I lOVE what HerMajesty said. ditto.
Your children will also help you find the strength to persevere. I am so sorry for what you are goign through. My thoughts are with you
Mom