Firstly, I'm really happy to find this site. I've been searching for clues on the internet for years on and off!
Even if my plight goes nowhere, I'm grateful to communities like this for the genuine care they bring out in folk
Anyway, enough waffle. Here's the deal with me. Please be aware, I'm not entirely sure if this is totally related to any Pudendal disorder.
I've been anorgasmic since I was seventeen, I'm forty now! I do remember, after years, a possible cause too. But I'll put this forward at the end of my symptom list. This is vast, but hopefully frank and descriptive narration will help me or others. So here goes, my self confirmed symptoms to date:
ANORGASMIA. Luckily I had orgasms before seventeen, I have never reached a pleasurable climax since.
NO PLEASURABLE SENSATIONS. When urinating or deification. Again, I remember there was pleasure when young.
NUMBNESS. This between my anus and scrotum, numb to touch too.
DIFFICULTY IN WALKING. Strange I know but very real. Downhill the worst but walking is awkward. Sometimes it's like my legs have a mind of there own. Sometimes it's like I can't feel my legs at all when trying to walk.
LACK OF SENSITIVITY. At the tip of penis or helmet.
PINS AND NEEDLES. Very quickly, when sat on toilet, or just kneeling.
STRANGE SENSATIONS. If I try to stretch the base of my spine out wards, it feels quite literally like there's a world of pleasurable energy trying to burst out from the bottom of my spine.
STRANGE SENSATIONS. I sometimes feel like there's unpleasant energy flowing through my legs. This can be while I'm trying to sleep and can be quite distressing.
POOR URINARY COTROL. Not major, but bad stream and often can't finish well, leading to leakage.
CLICKING OF SPINE. Sometimes I can physically click my spine at the base.
LOOSE AND STICKY STOOL. This has been as long as I can remember.
SKIN OF ANUS VERY RAW. Probably from loose stool.
PENIS SHAFT GOES RIGHT BACK INTO MY SPINE. Strange to say but worth mentioning. If I feel the shaft of my penis when hard, it routes back to my spine and seems to stop abruptly.
EJACULATION THROUGH IMAGINATION. This is important to mention. It's been so long since I have orgasmed, I have quite literally had to fantasise about stuff when having intercourse in order to ejaculate. This sound awful I know, but it is the best way to highlight the fact that there are literally no physical feelings that lead to a climax. All is faked to ensure a pleasurable experience for my partner at the time. Intercourse is not continuous or a physical crescendo, it is simply a mental process leading to an often long awaited pleasureless ejaculation. I'm proud of this description.
TIGHT FEET AND CRAMPS. My feet are really tight, if I try to push against a foot with the other foot, I get toe curdling cramp instantly. Lower legs are extremely tight too.
All above is real and worth offering out, I hope there are others who can relate. Here are some facts about me that may help the account in general:
I'm heterosexual and adore women. I totally appreciate the beauty of the opposite sex. It's just the above that let's me down.
I'm very active and fit for my age. Running, boxing and swimming.
I'm a strong personality with an average mental disposition. Frankly, amongst friends, I refuse to accept my issues are anxiety or stress.
I'm a professional person in a good job.
This next statement is quite important, and I've only really considered this because it was a distant memory. When I left school, I worked in an engraving company. I would sit at an all in one machine with a bench. This would vibrate. One day walking home from work, I was hit with crippling shooting pains from my crotch and down my legs. It was horrific! My so called mate at the time, while walking away from me! Told me to do something because I was making a show of him! The pains went quickly. I can't be sure, but this was close to the time when I believe I became anorgasmic. That symptom I do remember most prominent. I'm aware of course, that this could be a red herring!
Anyway, I'll bring this to a close by answering the obvious question! I have not presented these symptoms to any GP for the following reasons:
If I'm told I have anxiety or I need to relax, I'll end up snapping and walking out!
If I'm not taken seriously, I'll do the same.
I'm almost sure that I have an issue at the base of my spine that is contributing to all of this. As soon as I hint on this, I'll invite a professional to reassure me that it won't be!
Total fear of what might be. I'm very intelligent, and know what I'm describing is could well be MS, Parkinson's, Bowel or Prostate Cancer.
I don't want my career to be threatened. Armed forces technician.
I don't expect miracles, but God it feels good sharing this with caring people. I hope it reaches and may lead to help for me or someone else.
Many thanks to anyone who reads
Yours, DG
